Nuances of next steps

I celebrate the good. A goal I decreed for myself–keep my thyroid and body intact. Goal attained. Surgery and radiation may be what was pressured upon me like a battering ram, but I knew it was not for me.

3 years into a holistic-centered cancer healing journey, virtually every medical professional–western, to eastern, to functional, to integrative now says I made the right choice.  I didn’t realize how many flavors and shades of tears there could be… and how character-building it is to show up no matter what no matter how I felt or feel on any given day.  My word is my bond… to others as well as to myself now…and especially those lifted heavenward.

It has not been an easy path, but one in which I have learned more than ever that making one’s own choice and following through in the face of many fears thrown in your path is the way of great illumination and ascendence.  Broken Hallelujahs are  most beautiful says one song…  raw truth and deconstruction certainly must be complete before a true commissioning.  

I made some impatience, ego-driven missteps and barely survived a natural immunotherapy protocol which taught me a great deal about adverse drug reactions that often go unrecognized globally.   Not everything so-called safe and effective or touted as well-tolerated by others is best-suited for all.  Indescribably humbling.  It was whole lot of hell God walked with and led me through.  And so when I felt very much alone, I knew deeply I never was.  

Now I turn to continuing to restore these tired bones by divine design…refocusing the bigger battle in reversing the physical and even some intangible causative factors that allowed cancer to find a welcome mat once upon a time in my body.  
All I know right now is that I am grateful.  Christ has never felt closer.  I’ve never been more ferocious in tuning and sharing my voice and safeguarding the constructive and altruistic expression of others.  Somehow I know I have been freed unto a greater providential ownership of my life and purpose wherever and with whomever God leads.  All I know is that my life is becoming more about saying yes to my Maker and no to everyone and everything else that diffuses this devotion.  I cherish God’s wisdom.

It was needful for me to walk solo through the dark for a long, long while.  Makes it such a delight to walk and dance in the light…and I hope to be given opportunity to facilitate such space for others.  Thank you to God… and to those special humans sent by a loving heavenly Father let my soul breathe and my Spirit soar along the way. 

May we not fear the threat of death but to desire to and thus truly live.

Eggplant Rollatini-Vegan with Spinach

I was so happy I had this to go to for a quick snack and meal out of the fridge… I love leftovers that are tasty cold and hot! This can be so much prettier, but the flavor rocked. Use all organic or farmer’s market sourced veggies if you are able!

INGREDIENTS:

  • two large eggplants
  • 1 Tblspn Himalayan pink salt and your choice of dried italian herbs
  • 2 cups homemade red sauce or organic marinara
  • shredded vegan cheese (I used aged nut cheese from Parmela Creamery)
  • pinch of black pepper
  • 1 pound of spinach (sauteed with truffle salt or just salt and seasoned to your preference, then let liquid drain out and squeeze as much of rest out as you can)
  • 1/2 cup fresh chopped basil if you don’t want to do spinach or use it as garnish before serving.
  • FOR TOFU RICOTTA: (will all go in food processor until smooth)
  • 8 ounce firm organic tofu
  • 1/4 cup of pine nuts (I used raw)
  • 1/3 cup non-dairy yogurt (I used raw coconut plain)
  • 5 Tblspn nutritional yeast
  • fresh squeeze juice of 1/2 medium lemon
  • 1 tsp apple cider vinegar
  • 1 tsp each powered onion, garlic
  • pinch of Himalayan pink salt.

WHAT TO DO:

  • Make your red sauce as you typically do, but let it cook down so it is thick and not watery or just pull out your chosen jar from the store
  • Heat up oven to 400 degrees and prepare baking sheet with parchment or silicone liner or whatever option you have
  • Press tofu by wrapping in clean cloth and putting something like a heavy cast iron plan to press out excess liquid (20 minutes)
  • slice eggplant lengthwise 1/4 inch thick and salt on both sides to make the eggplant sweat for 20 minutes
  • Sop up the sweat from the eggplant with clean towel or paper towel
  • Brush lightly with olive oil and lay out eggplant slices on baking sheet and bake in oven for 15 minutes to soften for rolling
  • Spread 1.5 cup of red sauce on bottom of 8×8 or bigger baking pan
  • Pull out roasted eggplant when ready and let cool since you need to handle it by hand
  • Food process all tofu ricotta ingredients until smooth… it is alright if a few pine nuts are not fully incorporated because the texture addition is nice
  • Spoon about 1 full heaping Tblspn of the tofu ricotta on one end of each slice of eggplant and roll up!
  • Place seam side down into the prepared pan
  • Bake in oven for 20 minutes and let all get warmed together
  • Take out of oven, top each one with a little bit of your red sauce and sprinkle with your vegan cheese of choice and chopped of basil or parsley you have it.

LOVE THIS WITH RED WINE! Or for a quick breakfast 🙂 It’s filling, yet not too heavy…

Plus, I learned from Pink Lotus Breast Cancer Institute that organic soy is good for me to eat… especially as a cancer overcomer. Unlike most of the long-standing belief that soy feeds hormonally fueled cancers, new research shows that sustainably-sourced, non-gmo soy exposure as a child helps prevent breast cancer and that that estrogen from soy does is not the culprit it has been thought as (when you are eating soy that has not been genetically altered. Here are my notes from Kristi Funk:

On the fence about soy?  Here’s the research:

You have two receptors in your body for estrogen : alpha and beta.

Alpha is attached to the cancer cells but with 1600% more affinity, the phytoestrogens in soy products bind to beta receptors and what that activates is fascinating. 

1=Activated beta receptors shut alpha down, so it literally takes away the activity of the cancer receptor and it goes flying out into your body to your fat cells where every where you have a fat cell you have enzyme inside of it aromatase busily churning away hormones from your adrenal gland (androsteindione, and testosterone) … into estrogen. Soy via the beta receptor goes out and inactivates the aromatase so now you’re getting less conversion of other hormones into estrogen. So, you’re decreasing your estrogen that can fuel that alpha receptor.

Alpha receptors.  So I said it mostly it’s beta, but what does soy do with it…does hit alpha?

It activates that receptor with 1/10th to 1/100th  of the capacity of your actual estrogen, so acting like a molecule… Tomoxifin… a commonly used breast cancer anti-estrogen drug that hits the receptor like a car sitting in parking space you really want. And it just sits there and blocks it but doesn’t have very much downstream activity.

Soy is not only safe to consume, but it’s beneficial to consume. But before 2009, the literature had not reported good longitudinal studies about health effects of soy consumption in cancer patients.  ( a large study of 73,000 women in China showed the soy consumption helped prevent breast cancer by the tune of 58% reduced risk.)  A multiethnic study by Life After Cancer Epidemiology Study–of 2000 women on Tomoxifin showed that those consuming soy had 63% reduction of reoccurrence of cancer than those consuming soy in low amounts and 20% less death from breast cancer.   Later study of 6200 multiethnic US and Canadian patients over 9 years… (1/2 to 1 servings a week) had 21% decrease in all cause mortality. 51% drop in estrogen neg cancers 51% drop of estrogen driven cancers…

So very safe phytonutrient to consume… 2-3 servings a day recommended… non-GMO is a must. Organic is preferred!

Matcha cloud cookies (Vegan & Gluten Free)

I wanted to create something that my cravings inspired–a pillowy soft, not-too-sweet, yet savory version of matcha latte that I can chew and enjoy with tea. Maca-ccino or black tea would be a great pairing…

INGREDIENTS:

  • 2 cups fine almond flour (try 1.5 next time perhaps chewier and crispier version)
  • 1/4 cup melted DIY white chocolate (cacao recipe posted right before this one!)
  • 1/5 cup low glycemic index granulated sweetener (I used Allulose, but you can try monkfruit or coconut crystals if you must.)
  • 1 tsp Himalayan pink salt
  • 2 Tblspn Tapioca Flour
  • 1 flax egg in a non-dairy mylk of choice
  • 2 Tblspns matcha powder blended ito 2 Tablespoons of mylk
  • 1 tsp vanilla paste
  • toppings of pine nuts, sesame seeds (try black!) and freshly ground black pepper

WHAT TO DO:

  • Warm up oven to 350 degrees and prep baking sheet
  • sift together all dry ingredients into large mixer bowl
  • melt the above mentioned DIY white chocolate (raw cacao)
  • make flax egg
  • blend matcha powder into mylk to blend and get rid of clumps
  • combine all wet ingredients and combine with dry ingredients
  • mix well
  • scoop into small balls and gently press to flattened cookie shape
  • top with pine nuts, sesame seeds, and bit of freshly ground black pepper
  • bake 15 minutes until golden brown, but not too brown…

DIY WHITE CHOCOLATE (Vegan and low glycemic)

Once in a while I feel like having the smooth, gentler, subdued version of chocolate…so I ventured forth to have it on hand. Chop it up into little chunks for putting into cookies or just break off a chunk and enjoy all by itself. It’s good…and the amount of powdered monkfruit or stevia is really your call… I prefer less to too much.

INGREDIENTS:

  • 8 oz raw cacao butter
  • 1/5 cup powdered monkfruit (Lakanto brand) or stevia (maybe Swerve brand?)
  • 1/4 cup vanilla flavored vegan protein powder (I used Amazing Grass’ Vanilla Rose)
  • 1 Tablespoon of no alcohol vanilla extract
  • 1 teaspoon of sunflower lecithin (optional)
  • 1 dash of Himalayan pink salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon of fine Ramon seed granules

WHAT TO DO:

  • melt cacao in double boiler
  • add vanilla, salt, and sunflower lecithin and stir well
  • your choice of powdered sweetener and vegan vanilla protein powder
  • mix with slim spoon by hand and then use immersion blender to totally smooth out every little lump
  • pour into your candy molds
  • chill until hardened and use as you please!

Banana PANCAKES V & GF

Almond meal makes this pancake hearty, so blanched (fine) almond meal flour would probably make it lighter and fluffier, but I actually like the texture the meal gives but it is a balanced hearty mouth feel–hope you like it! I WANT TO CALL THESE BRUNCH ‘NANA PATTIES, BUT NO ONE WOULD UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS…!

INGREDIENTS

  • 3/4 cup almond meal (has the skin and not blanched)
  • 1/2 cup coconut flour
  • 1/4 cup tapioca flour
  • 1/5 arrowroot flour
  • 1/2 tsp Himalayan pink salt
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 3 flax eggs
  • 1 Tblspn vanilla extract
  • 2 Tblspn apple cider vinegar
  • 3/4 cup water
  • 3 Tblspn olive oil or oil of choice
  • 1 ripe mashed banana

WHAT TO DO

  • Mix up your flax eggs (3 Tblspns of ground flax with Tblspns of water and let sit until moderately thick and congealed)
  • Mash banana and add and mix all the wet ingredients together
  • Sift together dry ingredients
  • Thoroughly mix both sets of ingredients together…should be comfortable to mix and not too watery and thin, but not too thick either… a spoon stuck into it should slowly fall to side and not stick up
  • Pan fry with coconut oil a few minutes on each side until browned and cooked through
  • Add your choice of nuts, fruit, and maple syrup and enjoy!
  • tastes great warm, of course, but enjoyed a leftover one out of the refrigerator!

Adapto-nuts-and-choco cookie balls

Craving a fulfilling cookie crafted with health boosting benefits?! With adaptogenic herb Maca and Immune supportive mushroom blend powder, this yummy bite of deep dark chocolate goodness really satisfies!

You can use stevia sweetened dark chocolate chips or 100% cacao chips from Pascha… or broken up chunks of any low-sugar, high quality dark bittersweet chocolate you have on hand!

INGREDIENTS:

  • 2 cups hazelnut flour
  • 1 cup fine almond flour (almond meal would work and make it extra rustic)
  • 1/2 cup melted coconut oil
  • 1/5 cup crumbled raw cacao butter melded with coconut oil
  • 1/3-1/2 cup golden monkfruit granules (allulose works, too)
  • 1 tsp Himalayan Pink Salt
  • 1 tsp Cinnamon powder
  • 1 scant tsp baking soda
  • 1 Tblspn vanilla extract (vanilla beans, if you have, too)
  • 2 Tblspn maca powder
  • 1-2 Tblspn mixed mushroom powder for immunity boosting
  • 2 Tblspn unrefined blackstrap molasses for trace minerals
  • 1.5 cups of chocolate chunks or chips of your choosing (low glycemic, please!)

WHAT TO DO:

  • Preheat oven to 350 and prep parchment or silicone baking sheet
  • Sift together all dry ingredients
  • Add wet ingredients after melting to dry and mix well
  • Stir in chocolate chips into mixer last
  • Scoop out 1.5 inch balls and place on baking sheet or flatten balls a bit to help it ease into a cookie shape instead of an round energy ball form… keep at least inch of space in between them
  • Bake for about 10 minutes… eyeball for a nice golden finish
  • Cool and keep in fridge to last up to a week.

Carrot Cake Loaf… in Quarantine!

I had most of the ingredients I would normally use, but not in the portions I would like so adjusted quite a bit especially with the GF and nut flours. Adjust as you must!

  • INGREDIENTS:
  • 1 cup shredded carrots (I liked the texture of grating by hand)
  • 1/3 cup applesauce with about 3 Tablespoons of crushed pineapple if you have
  • 1/4 cup warmed coconut oil or more applesauce if you prefer
  • 1 Tblspn apple cider vinegar
  • 1 Tblspn vanilla extract and dash of vanilla beans if you have
  • 1 Tblspn cinnamon
  • 1 teaspoon Himalayan pink salt
  • couple dashes of ginger powder
  • 3/4 cup fine almond flour
  • 1 cup of your GF flour preference (I made my own of 1/4 cup each coconut flour, buckwheat flour, tiger nut flour, and oak flour.)
  • (I also like to add 3 Tablespoons of tapioca flour for binding help, but totally optional)
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 1/4 cup low glycemic sweetener like allulose or monkfruit granules (coconut sugar if you don’t have above)
  • 1/4 cup dried date crystals
  • 1/4 cup raisins
  • 1/2 cup nuts or similar– I had some pistachios, but usually like walnuts
  • FROSTING:
  • 1 cup raw, soaked cashews (needs 4 hours to soak and soften!)
  • 1/3 cup melted coconut oil
  • 1/2 cup warmed, softened coconut manna
  • 1/2 cup powdered monkfruit (sub maple syrup if you don’t have)
  • 1/4 of lemon’s juice
  • 1 tsp lemon zest
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 1 Tblspn vanilla extract

WHAT TO DO:

  1. Turn on oven to 350 degrees
  2. Sift together GF cup of flour(s) and nut flour in big mixer bowl
  3. Add and mix together rest of dry ingredients in mixer bowl
  4. Combine all wet and warmed to liquid ingredients and add to dry ingredients stirring until well incorporated into a batter with your mixer
  5. Add your nuts if you are using last
  6. Pour into 8×8 lined pan
  7. Bake for 35 minutes until the tester toothpick comes out clean
  8. Let cake cool while mixing frosting
  9. Blend all frosting ingredients in high speed/power blender until luscious, thick, spreadable consistency… but if it is a bit too runny, put in fridge to give it it structure
  10. When cake is cooled, cut in half, frost and stack…and frost the whole thing.
  11. Sprinkle while frosting is still setting with shredded coconut or what you feel like!

I personally think this cake loaf tastes most divine while still a bit chilled and not room temperature.

DIY Citrus infused SANITIZER–effective, easy, and essential!

Aisles are less crowded and shelves are emptied of essentials to keep loved ones safe and healthy in these concerning COVID-19 times. So, I wanted to make and share this recipe with variations to make your own sanitizer spray.

Granted, if you are not able to get 99%+ Isopropyl Alcohol or Aloe these days, don’t fret, a trusted MD says studies show alcohol as low as 30% of the overall solution will work. I count my blessings that I was able to find and buy a one gallon bottle…albeit it was a whopping $44 dollars. (Shocking.) But, it is worth having for the next few months and onward as we weather this viral storm here in California and around the globe. Plus, a personal friend who is an ER doctor says the anything above 90% for alcohol hard to find even in normal times and that the highest you can buy commercially outside of medical supply houses is 90%. So, this makes me even more grateful to have found some! So, get a bottle if you can and make your own sanitizer!

INGREDIENTS: 99% Isopropyl alcohol, Organic aloe gel, essential oils of choice, and I like orange peel steeped White Distilled Vinegar.

MIXTURE: 3/5 cup of Alcohol, 1/5 cup Aloe, 1/5 orange peel infused distilled vinegar, 10-15 drops of your preferred essential therapeutic grade oil. (I used lemon, tea tree, and another mix that contained citronella and lemongrass.) (If you use 70% for alcohol, just use 4/5 of cup and 1/5 cup aloe and skip my infused distilled vinegar altogether. Or, the simplest version is just alcohol and water, but I encourage the essential oil for added homeopathic benefit.)

Note: If you are using organic aloe, you will need to filter out the fibers with a stainless steel sifter just in case the fibers get stuck in the sprayer. Or just scoop it out with a fork and squeeze out the crucial alcohol.

Please feel free to use this non-toxic liquid sanitizer with a sprayer you recycle from other used up formulations or fill the little essential oil bottles so it drips out carefully. This is, as one of my dearests friends described, pure gold during these times. So, this is a highly precious gift for those immuno-compromised or unable to get supplies.

Wishing you God’s blessings to provide, protect, sustain, and see you through onto much brighter days ahead!

AND… take note of this similar version by the CDC: https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-make-hand-sanitizer

Well with me

It is well with my soul. Oh, for so long I have desired to confess that and it be true. It is. But after no small bit of wrestling and submission...I give thanks that I am a well person, fighting back dis-ease for myself and others until the day and time and the ways of my faith bring the ultimate reclamation that I know is mine to enjoy.

6 months since my previous scan and lab tests, I received the jubilant endocrinologist’s assessment today congratulating me on another great report. A report no different than the last and with an MD’s encouragement to celebrate and live my life and to continue to pray. Wow on that, by the way! And so, I speak forth and believe for a mounting strength to ascend and continue the journey I have been blessed to experience. Excelsior!

While 2016 American Thyroid Association guidelines would now classify me as a successful patient only in need of active surveillance to make sure the contained nodule(s) stay dormant, unmoving, and unchanging based on a decade+ of studies in Korea and Japan corroborating this, I only found a semi-satisfaction that this way of healing I felt led to walk has now found me allies in a field that I fought against (and alone) for so long. But I know my journey continues as I reassess my perspective, future actions, and heart to reconcile the crucible of I AM but NOT YET. Even this in-between, in-progress place is well with me, but my goal of complete dissolution of what was once diagnosed as cancer has not yet come in black and white text that I could make my own ticker tape parade and party out of. And perhaps, I realize as I peer deep within, that is one reason why.

Just a week ago I sought my Lord God about why the full deployment of the new me and my new life God has been preparing for me is taking so much longer than I want or expected. His response in a deep intuitive impression was that one of His desires is to circumvent my tendency toward pride through discipline, achievement, accomplishment, and doings. Among the many quiet revelations I have been gifted during my prayerful healing journey, the one that has been the most difficult was being shown and told there is much more distance to go… and lot of that was in my innermost terrain. Self-sufficiency must bow to surrendering my all to the God I claim my life and faith comes from…this complete submission must be completely complete and then will my victory find me in the name of the one who is my Healer–Jehovah Rapha.

While I am not God, (obviously!) in this personal disappointment comes a special invitation to delight in what is happening and will happen as I allow my plans and timing to be given over to the God beyond time. I recall and refresh myself with His promises to take me through the darkness, solitary, underground tunnels with worthwhile treasures when I emerge to a table He has filled with goodness and bounty. I realize I am also invited to speak forth the truths that shall be if I withstand doubt and weariness and stand fast to my faith that the giants still squatting on the territories that are claimed by Christ as mine are simply great reminders that they will fall and I shall not see them again forever when the time of the Lord is mine as well. I am equipped to declare every lying symptom as wrong and rise in strength confidant God will have His way when all things, ALL things will be worked for my good and His glory… For now, I lay before my Maker saying your will; your way is well with me, resting on the song He sung over me years ago–that “this won’t be the first time you have overcome.” And God cannot tell a lie.

So as my thyroid specialist sweetly exhorted me to do… I shall continue to pray and confess that I am and will be in the less than 15% of thyroid cancer patients who exhibit complete disappearance of any trace of dis-ease and leaning into my beautiful Savior Jesus who makes not only eternal life available, but an abundant healthful and triumphant life available in the flesh upon this temporal earth. In my current understanding, this means I be with Him more which will prioritize what I will do and not do… and being a person who once took pride in doing all I can, for all people, all the time, the so-called “good” human part of me keeps fighting against the rest and reliance I know I am being groomed and seasoned in for greater things ahead which I do not yet know, but believe I will see…soon.

Taking my personal connection with God in Christ into my human day to day, I shall continue to pursue and partake in the endeavors that prosper my soul, like ballroom dance choreography performances, acting work, including a new stage play I am so blessed to be invited to as main cast, and show up in every place that I am most at peace with practicing a different modus operandi that hungers for an intimate, very reliant relationship where God’s preferences and plans are my pursuit and devotion. This continues to guide my new life since being healed of the worst, fearsome, and most crippling ailments by God’s undeniable divine encounter and kindly visitations.

All asian american female cast I am blessed to be part of!

I am hungry for nothing less than allowing a vast, loving, and most patient God to grow my patience, perseverance, and long suffering so that the best of who I am designed to be becomes free and far removed from trappings of pride–one of the most underestimated and silent saboteurs of a pure and excellent way of the heart. And that is the beginning of what is required to commune with the greatest gift and being of all: GOD–my beginning and end–with His in betweens with me now unveiling.

In a refreshed waiting with wisdom and growing discernment, walking with my beloved YHWH and Yeshua, I choose to invest in this invitation of eternal love in my every step upward and onward… knowing I thrive most when purposely championing others’ redemptive journeys. From Trials to Triumph…what a joy; what a calling; grateful for my beautiful life!

HUG N KISS DATE BOMBS

CHOCOLATE DIP FOR EXTERIOR

  • 1 cup cacao butter
  • 1 Tablspn coconut oil
  • 2 Tablspn coconut palm nectar (similar to maple syrup consistency) and 5 drops of monkfruit liquid drops (or either depending on your glycemic index intake considerations)
  • 1 dash Ceylon Cinnamon
  • 1 dash of fine Himalayan pink salt
  • 1 teaspoon of Vanilla extract (with no alcohol!)
  • 1 cup cacao powder
  • optional: 1 teaspoon of ground Ramon Seeds –unique, subtle flavor

…then the dates:

  • 25 whole medjool dates (pits removed…make sure no fragments, too!)
  • Tahini
  • Almond or your choice of nut butter
  • 1 pinch sea salt
  • 2 Tbsp unsweetened coconut shreds, sesame seeds, slivered almonds

What to do:

  1. Use double boiler to gradually melt the cacao butter
  2. Add rest of dip ingredients and whisk together
  3. Once melted, carefully remove bowl from heat (turn off stove top) and add the monkfruit liquid drops and/or coconut nectar (maple if you don’t have) and cacao powder. Make sure you mix until all well combined.
  4. Once melded together let sit if you have time off the heat. The cacao mixture needs to thicken before you dip the stuffed dates in it. Or you can pop in fridge and stir every couple minutes and take out when it becomes the right viscosity to dip the dates and cover nicely.
  5. Split the pitless medjool dates like an open hotdog bun making sure the date still stays intact and nice cut open. Fill half with unsweetened almond butter and the rest with tahini. (The squeeze dispenser for each from Thrive Market really made this part easier than using little spoons.)
  6. Don’t overfill since each date as to close up fully to dip and not have the filling bleed out of cacao covering layer.
  7. Prep your parchment or silicone baking sheet to place dipped dates upon to chill.
  8. Use little thongs to dip dates into cacao mixture, tap off excess, and place on your baking sheet. Sprinkle with coconut shreds and sesame seeds for the tahini filled ones and place almond slice atop almond butter filled dates. One is the hug and the other is the kiss… they really do make a lovely pair together…subtle, complementary tastes.
  9. Freeze them and pull out 20 minutes or so before serving. It’s hard to keep from eating them all, but the motivation to do so is — they do make really adorable gifts!