2. Hard to Swallow

What drove me to seek more than the usual attention I don’t typically demand? A strange little lump in my throat that made swallowing annoying and sometimes difficult. It seemed like a simple case of post-nasal drip after months of the horrid respiratory trouble and a serious flu with endless coughing. The odd swallowing issue lasted too long after my flu left for my comfort, so I sought an Ear-Nose-Throat specialist–one of the best reputed.

Nothing. There’s nothing there. Nothing is wrong with you. For those who have exhibited no tell-tale signs of sickness, but know something is wrong, receiving this pat answer to an earnest seeking can be outrageously maddening. It was for me and has been during the years of various physicians telling me I “looked” fine, slim, becoming, and very healthy even when my neuro-hormonal symptoms and some tests suggested otherwise. But that was and is the quandry–reconciling whole body, holistic wellness and compartmentalized, often-organ-specific perspectives on regaining health. It is in the grey area that isolation, hopelessness, rage, as well as soul-saving resolution happens…over time, of course. Even after several visits and scopes sent down my breathing passages revealed nothing, I refused to accept that I was behaving as if I had Globus Hystericus–the name itself obviously suggesting it was “all in my head.” Irritation… yes, absolutely. While various factors that may have caused this might show in the years to come, in this moment, I resisted this mild-mannered dismissal and I persisted until I was sent for an ultrasound, just in case.

Wish my intuition was wrong–the imaging tests showed suspicious spots on my thyroid. And then a fine-needle aspiration (biopsy) confirmed papillary carcinoma. And getting the results was not easy either as the doctor who initially told me the results since my main ENT doctor was unavailable didn’t know how to really tell me. It was awkward and I had to pull it out of him since more than a week had already gone by and I no longer wanted to wait to get the confirmation that I already felt in my gut. Just say it and tell me I insisted. So he did. Cancer. He said the only solution was removing it…and actually, that meant removing the thyroid. Unacceptable to me.

That weekend (after the biopsy results) I was scheduled to participate in a 3-day martial arts survival training program…and it was brutal. I wondered if every strike with hand or knife from throws and falls or practicing self-defense moves would make me worse or break free the cancer from its current location. I remember resisting hard not to spontaneously cry in the middle of the massive mental and physical learning curves… my pain was emotional, but the physical challenges were tough, too. I’m a fighter I kept telling myself… I did make it through the 3 days and weathering the onslaught helped me curry a deeper, inward warring spirit which I innately knew I would need for all that was ahead.

When I finally let the news settle and set an in-person meeting with the ENT doctor I initially sought for an annoying lump, I didn’t tell others. I was not in a place to tell my husband either as he was very busy and traveling so much, I just didn’t find and want to add another stressor to his already busy life. Yes, I know, this is also not a healthy situation. Nonetheless, it just shows how difficult to swallow a medical diagnosis like cancer can be and how much resistance can come in the place acceptance must be to allow for empowered decision-making.

As I mentioned, I promised myself I would fight cancer naturally and avoid conventional go-to solutions of surgery and radiation. That’s precisely what I told the doctor when my husband and I went to discuss my options. He said he would only have to take 1/2 my thyroid and would monitor the other half and the remaining parathyroids hoping they would not go into shock and also be felled to death. From an outsider’s perspective, it was reasonable– a fair-enough compromise, with very little risk, and a speedy way to get rid of the “problem.” In violent opposition, my psyche refused and my body tensed, square against this sending a feverish revolt through my body up to my head. I could not take this simply proffered option. I said no and politely asked him to take me on as an “experiment” to watch and see as I wanted to explore other options.

Such explorations will be shared later, but for now, the main matter is the diagnosis and the response to it. I felt disappointed that I did not react as positively and resolutely as I promised myself I would should I become part of the 1 in 2 or 1 in 3 to be diagnosed with cancer in America. And I see now that I was not being fair to myself and beating myself up for what I perceived as lack of bravery and failure in adequately taking care of myself. It was understandable in that I was already tired from my uphill battle to recover from an electrical brain injury which became the chronic inflammatory assault on my entire body that brought confusion within my cells including cancer. I was trying not to be angry at the woman (a medical practitioner and medical machine manufacturer) who was responsible for my electrical injury… I was trying not to be sad at feeling so alone as most medical professionals had dismissed my need for help saying I “looked fine” for years… I was heartbroken and didn’t want to face how upsetting it was that my husband was too busy to be an actively involved part of all this… I was hard-pressed from every side from external and internal pressure. I just did not want to feel anything… at all. It was too much and too hard for too long and this last drop of an added trial nearly pushed me over the edge. To simply function, I refused to process fully or let myself feel anything at all… Not for many months, actually.

I squelched every rumbling of rage and capped sobs into silence and unfortunately, I let my soul fester with all these poisons for a while before I even asked God for His direction and hope and listened. All I could think of was pounding everything into submission like mixed martial artists in a blind rage do to their opponents. Kill-kill-kill. Destroy, destroy, destroy. Not much finesse in denial, hurt, and fear…and that is where I remained for a while. I had to grow quite a lot to face my brokenness and broken heart so I could see a way forward unto life. All I knew was I was determined to win and do it my way and that no one was taking my body apart. Radiative dissolution or surgical removal of this powerhouse hormone modulator felt tantamount to letting the Devil cut my throat and drain my life. Yes, it was that insanely dramatic for me. All I could do, think, or say was that I would not be beat….not by anything. Funny how such denial of a full perspective could masquerade as determination. At least I still had that… and that is where I started.

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;  persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. -2 Corinthians 4:8-9

NOT-A-CCINO WHITE CHOCOLATE FUDGIES – Vegan, Keto

Looks like cookies and cream and kinda tastes like it, too, but the recently rediscovered secret ingredient actually has overtures of chocolate and coffee without the caffeine!!! So, this is an offering to those who miss a touch a sweet, want the resistant softness of fudge, yet want to feel like a grown up kid having coffee tinged oreo-like treats. This is a unique one for sure!

  • INGREDIENTS: (recipe still being tweaked by jane, but still good!)
  • 2/3 cup raw cacao butter
  • 1 cup coconut milk
  • 1/4 cup coconut oil
  • 2/3 cup coconut manna
  • 2 teaspoon vanilla extract (no alcohol)
  • 2 Tablespoons Ramon seed powder (stir in last.)
  • 2 Tablespoons MCT powder
  • 15 drops of monkfruit liquid sweetener
  • 3 Tablespoons of granulated monkfruit
  • 1/8 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon

WHAT TO DO:

  1. In a double boiler, gently melt cacao butter and coconut manna.
  2. Add coconut milk and oil… and stir until fully incorporated.
  3. Take off heat.
  4. Add monkfruit drops and granules, MCT, vanilla extract, salt, cinnamon.
  5. Prepare your brownie pan (10×10 for thin fudge and 8×8 for thicker) by lining it was parchment paper.
  6. Add in Ramon seeds and stir until just combined.
  7. Pour into pan and top with raw coconut flakes/
  8. Chill overnight.
  9. Slice up and serve. Leave in refrigerator for longer keeping, but can leave out a room temperature without worries of melting 🙂
Stacking up those ketones with the MCT infusion here!

ESSENTIAL SEED TOAST…strangely addictive! – Vegan, Keto

Another baked item I made the day before I plunged into Vegan-Keto eating as a just in case measure. I’m so glad I did… this was a go-to snack and meal-maker more often than I expected! It is also so delicious and very filling somehow all on its own–whether or not you toast it. I sliced, then froze my bread loaves so they would be easy to pull out and simply allow to defrost or lightly toast. Great either way! Don’t laugh, but you’ll see what I mean when I say this feels like an old-school style bread from generations past.

  • INGREDIENTS:
  • 1 cup raw sunflower seeds (prefer sprouted)
  • 1 cup raw pumpkin seeds (prefer sprouted)
  • 1/4 cup cup psyllium husks
  • 1/4 cup chia seeds
  • 1/2 cup pea protein powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon Himalayan Pink Salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon finely ground nutritional yeast
  • 1/4 cup tahini warmed to room temperature
  • 3 Tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
  • 2 Tablespoon ground flax
  • 1 slightly overflowing cup warm filtered water

WHAT TO DO:

  1. Line your bread loaf pan with parchment and preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit.
  2. In large bowl, mix together, seeds, psyllium, salt, nutritional yeast, flax, and pea protein.
  3. In glass measuring cup, combine warm water tahini, and olive oil.
  4. Pour wet mixture into large seed bowl. Stir well so all combined with no powdery areas.
  5. Once well mixed, portion the thick dough into bread pan and use spatula to even out. You may need to tap the entire bread loaf pan on your countertop to even everything out well.
  6. Bake for 80 minutes or until you see a nice golden browning of the top. Should be super crusty 🙂
  7. Remove from oven and cool.
  8. Slice, save a few in the fridge and store the rest in the freezer.

Peanutty Cloud Cookies Vegan, Keto, GF

Wanted a quick, easy, crowd pleaser… peanuts are a fav, but you can sub with any other nut butter if your loved one needs to avoid peanuts as they are a high-allergen food. If you can enjoy peanut butter, then this is a soft, chewy, cheer-you-up cookie…

  • INGREDIENTS: (not finalized yet by Jane… still testing)
  • 1/4 (no more than 1/3) cup smooth organic only roasted peanut butter
  • 6 Tablespoons non-dairy mylk of choice (use for flax eggs)
  • 2 flax eggs (using mylk) –make sure not too watery.
  • 1/4 cup ground golden flax seeds
  • 4 Tablespoons granulated monkfruit sweetener; 5 Tablespoons if you want a sweetness that’s evident.
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 tablespoon MCT powder
  • 2 teaspoons cinnamon
  • 1/2 teaspoon sea salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
  • optional: red salt or large salt flakes for topping along with a dash of cinnamon… or a peanut or sachi inchi seed with fine dusting of salt.
  • note—this makes 6-8 large spoon rounded drops… so best to double up on ingredients… and make more to share!
  • on aside–I found that adding a vegan protein powder scoop makes the cookie less dense and puffy somehow… let me know what it does for you!

WHAT TO DO:

  1. Prep your silicone cookie sheet with little coconut oil or line your baking pan with parchment paper. Turn on oven to 350 degrees F.
  2. In large bowl, mix together all the wet ingredients: nut butter, flax eggs, mylk, sweetener, and vanilla extract.
  3. In other bowl, whisk together MCT powder, cinnamon, flax grounds, salt, baking powder… then add and incorporate into larger bowl of wet ingredients. Add 1 Tablespoon of water if too thick to mix.
  4. Once dough is well mixed, it will seem a bit wet, but should hold together well enough for you to drop the slightly gooey dough onto the baking sheet.
  5. Use two spoons or a scooper to make each a uniform size, if you care to! Try to make them a circular as possible, because these guys may spread.
  6. Sprinkle each with your choice of salt topping and cinnamon or a simple half peanut with cinnamon or a sachi ichi seed.
  7. Bake for 28-30 minutes depending on your oven–so a nice golden browning happens. The inside is moist so the outside needs to be well done 🙂
  8. Remove from oven and let cool.

Easy to eat…soft like pillows, yet a bit chewy… it makes me feel like a kid again. I would totally put two cookies to sandwich berries! Or banana slices if this were not supposed to a keto-friendly treat!!!

Fresh out of the oven!

KETO-NOLA … earthy, grainless Granola greatness- Vegan, Keto

This crunchy goodness is hard to stop eating! It’s so light, but delights the crisp hankering I get sometimes with a good balance of salty sweetness…. it is, however, NOT sweet. Take out the bit of monkfruit entirely and just rely on the freeze dried berries and let your tastebuds enjoy a nutty earthy satisfaction that will help break the addictive very-sweet-addictive granolas often found in your grocery stores…!

  • INGREDIENTS:
  • 1 cup wild soil almonds
  • 1 cup halved and coarsely chopped Indonesian cashews
  • 1 cup sunflower seeds
  • 1 cup pumpkin seeds
  • 4 Tablespoons chia seeds
  • 8 Tablespoons ground flax seed
  • 1 cup sliced almonds
  • 1/2 Tablespoon cinnamon
  • 1/2 teaspoon Himalayan pink salt
  • 6 Tablespoons coconut oil
  • 2 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 3/4 cup freeze dried berry of choice
  • 2 cups coconut flakes (1/2 in at start and 1/2 mixed in later)
  • 1 teaspoon cayenne (more for option… and have turmeric on hand.)
  • 1 Tablespoon of golden monkfruit granules (omit if you want NO sweetened flavor outside of berries!) It’s still soo good with mylk!

WHAT TO DO:

  1. Line two baking trays with silicone baking lining and set your oven to 250 degrees Fahrenheit.
  2. Meld together coconut oil, vanilla, and sweetener…turn off heat.
  3. In very large mixing bowl, put together rest of ingredients EXCEPT 1/2 of your coconut flakes (do not use shreds, please.)
  4. Pour melty oil mixture into the large bowl and toss well.
  5. Divy up the granola mixtures between the two pans… you can spice up one of the pans with more cayenne or other savory powder like turmeric! Spread the mixture well in order to bake evenly.
  6. Bake for 25 minutes and sprinkle rest of your coconut shreds and stir into the mixture.
  7. Bake for another 20 minutes… watch carefully so it bakes evenly and crisps to a golden level. Burning would be sad thing … 😦
  8. Remove from oven and let cool for 30 minutes
  9. Add your freeze fried berries.
  10. This is enough to make a batch for yourself and have a giftable goodies for a foodie friend!

NOTE: for the most nutritious option would be to do all but bake and instead use a dehydrator for 12 -24 hours after soaking and activating each seed and nut prior to mixing. It takes more time, BUT the granola would be raw and living–offering you more than a baked option. Bake if you really prefer the crunch factor! Honestly, sometimes, I need a good crunchy snack!

I really love eating this when I need something with texture… or on top of my chia puddings… or actually, anytime. I’ve become more drawn to the the savory side of this than the sweet side, so I’ve surprised myself and avoided the berries at times! I think you’ll enjoy this over most store-bought varieties of granola laced with way too much sugary stuff.

QUIETLY NUTS CACAO KETO CUPS – Vegan

  • INGREDIENTS: (STILL BEING TESTED BY JANE.–not final recipe, but still good)
  • 1/4 cup coconut oil
  • 3/4 cup cacao butter
  • 1/2 cup nut butter (almond, cashew, or macadamia)
  • 5 Tablespoon raw cacao powder
  • 1 Tablespoon MCT powder or MCT oil
  • 7 Tablespoons of granulated monkfruit
  • pinch sea salt for mixture
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract – no alcohol–can bind up cacao
  • large salt flakes for topping
  • coconut shreds and freeze dried berries for optional decor topping

WHAT TO DO:

  1. In double boiler, melt down cacao butter and coconut oil and when melted together and mixed, then add nut butter and stir until well combined.
  2. Take of heat and stir in sweetener, vanilla extract, MCT option, and fine granules of salt
  3. Pour into molds of choice
  4. Top with coconut shreds, freeze dried berries, or large flakes of salt…and all of them!
  5. Chill for 25 minutes… pop out of molds. Enjoy!
  6. optional–if you want to have a nut butter cup… you can pout the final mixture halfway up mold, then place dollop or nut butter in middle of mold of cup, and then cover the dollop with the final mixture until it levels to the top of the mold. This just takes a bit more time and work, but it’s worthwhile 🙂

LEMONBERRY CAKETTES – Vegan & Keto-friendly

…faded my blues for sure!!! so bright and happy in flavor!

This was one of the first things I made the day before going vegan-keto. I know myself and knew I would need a treat that’s sweet and substantial… this is a perfect treat to bake, freeze, and take anywhere you need to go! Oh…while I love blueberries, they are on the higher side of carbs for ketosis-conscious bakers… Try raspberries for an extra tart cakelette!

  • INGREDIENTS:
  • 1/2 cup coconut flour (if you have tiger nut flour, substitute 1/8 cup of coconut for this for the prebiotic benefits)
  • 1/2 cup golden flax seeds ground
  • 2 Tablespoons granulated sweetener/monkfruit (I used Lakanto)
  • 2 generous Tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 3/4 cup non-daity mylk of choice (I used flax mylk)
  • 1 large lemon – zest and fresh juice
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1/3 cup blueberries (raspberries are lower in carbs, fyi.)
  • couple pinches of Himalayan pink salt
  • one smidge pinch of cinnamon
keto coconut cream and powdered monkfruit drizzle with freeze dried raspberries to top

WHAT TO DO

  1. With coconut oil, moisten inside of 6-top silicone standard sized muffin mold (or line tins with paper liners)
  2. In a larger bowl, whisk together lemon zest and juice, your sweetener, olive oil, vanilla extract, and mylk
  3. in a separate bowl, combine flax grounds, coconut flour, tiger nut flour (if you have), baking powder, salt, and cinnamon
  4. Lastly, add blueberries and mix just enough to combine without making total blue mush of the dough! lol.
  5. Stir together both bowls of ingredients into larger bowl, and mix with a big fork quickly so it’s well combined not clumpy
  6. Fill each muffin form evenly to top
  7. Bake for 25-30 minutes depending on your oven. Check with toothpick for doneness.
  8. Take out of oven and let cool in muffin mold for 20 minutes–I often cannot wait that long!!!
  9. It is easier, though to get the muffins out of the mold once they’re cooled completely… There are perks to patience!
blueberries… the higher carb berry, but so good and loaded with fiber!

This GUAC always rocks!

INGREDIENTS:

  • 4 large or 6 small ripe avocados
  • 1 average sized shallot very finely diced
  • 1/4 average sized sweet onion finely diced
  • 1/4 cup fresh cilantro leaves chopped
  • 1 tablespoon Adobe seasoning
  • 1/4-1/3 cup lime juice depending on your taste
  • 1/2 jalapeno finely diced. More per taste. I love spice!
  • optional: chili flakes if you want more color with spice


Use all organic ingredients, if possible! Okay…now…

WHAT TO DO:
Moderately mash up perfectly ripe avocados and then just mix this all the ingredients together and make sure its smooth with some texture. A gooey mash would not be ideal… but some small soft chunks of avocado left for your own tongue and teeth to finish off completely makes it a nice mouthfeel and therefore taste like freshly handmade guac.

Also, cilantro that is local farmers market sourced and fragrant is best!

Spoon it up or chip it up and into your mouth… or just slather on crackers and indulge in this yummy fatty fruit heaven! …um, can you tell I LOOOVE guac? It really does ROCK!

note: The adobo powder I use is from the Simply Organic brand found at most grocers. The ingredients are: sea salt, garlic, onion, black pepper, oregano, bay, and turmeric. If you would rather not use this, just use Himalayan pink salt, dash of onion powder, sneak some turmeric or chili flakes in there…and adjust to taste. Pepper is a per taste preference, so go for it if you want! Oh, and I don’t love tomatoes in my guac… I prefer to just have salsa separately and thoroughly dive into this creamy green treat!

Flax crackers add even more healthy fats!

5. Practical Spirituality

You can probably tell I have been through many a dark, long, and winding wilderness. I felt the fear. I felt the loss. I felt the anger, shame, rage… all of humanity’s capacity for temptation to remain in pity and tears. But I thank God that my Jesus Christ did not let me linger any longer than I matured enough to be honest and authentic about my feelings while not letting myself “be” and “become” any of the horrible emotions I felt. This divide is easy to miss and I tripped sometimes, but when no human would or could, my Abba YHWH and Jesus Christ showed up and lifted me. So this is a GOOD GOOD GOOD FRIDAY indeed. I get the privilege to live in the now and not yet of Resurrection.

I am blessed and hope you are, too, on this day leading into Resurrection Weekend a.k.a. Easter. The only connection I have with that is that I used to devour Cadbury eggs and every sweet processed pseudo-food manufactured by man in my yesteryears (20’s especially!). And that connection has been severed to facilitate a fuller abundance of life and so I am able to see where I got set up to fall and see better where to maneuver in quiet before I step out. Life is much sweeter (even without sugary chocolate!) when staying most close to the Spirit-truth of all things because I plan to truly live evermore with Christ after this passing wind of life we experience on Earth. And this is why I love reflecting on where He has led me so I can more gratefully and wisely welcome the ways to come.

As I value how far I have come, I acknowledge wellness is a continuum and I get to progress and deepen enjoying life throughout the journey. So I joyfully the share the honest unknowns I tackled early in my healing and still am evaluating this very day. I am most humbled and grateful that I get to choose to show up everyday…and got to prove to myself that I could each and every time I did not feel I could, but did…and anytime I doubted I would ever heal over these last years, I chose to believe I would. And now through this present-look at my near-past part of a healing journey, I shamelessly admit I am still in process BECOMING. As an actor, I am especially aware now that there is an art in healing, too.

How do you walk on faith in real-life here on Earth? Have faith…yes, and then what. Well, when it comes to facing health issues, this is a tough space to navigate, simply because there is so much space to explore or get lost in and voices to heed to ignore. There’s just a LOT.

Simply put this is the place of flux and fuss: the now and the not yet. As a faithwalker according to Christ, I know my eternity is secured and I am whole, new, spotless, and perfected in eternity. However, I am still in my temporal state where the flesh dies a bit every day. What will break or breakthrough? Let me share two examples of making decisions about oral health and digestive discoveries in regards to my cancer skirmishes…and see how heaven finds traction with me here in my tangible world.

When facing matters of mortality, this is a most peaceful in-between in my experience. Each thought and action is best taken before God’s consideration and if I can get peaceful enough and discern with His voice above all the others, the way forward or in waiting while still becomes simple. I did not say easy.

After a year of healing my body with natural methods or detoxing and nutrification and radical supplementation (as you know if you read my earlier posts…) I did not have a clear enough answer on if my thyroid was totally in the clear and outside risk or relapse to confusion by cancer. My biochemist readings show no more malignancy, but ultrasounds show shape changes and what could arguably be growth (or dispersion?!) How maddening to be being torn in this way. Depending on your persuasion, my results were interpreted by that bias. I didn’t care of anyone’s bias, so I simply felt that my journey toward complete wholeness was not yet over. So I dug deeper… in my mouth and into my gut.

Something inside told me I should check to see if any abnormalities were in other risky areas for me. Since my dad had cancer twice, I opted to get an endoscopy and colonoscopy as a prudent measure. No one told me to… it just seemed like good sense while I was searching to make sure I was covering all my bases. The faithwalking part of this procedure was that I was led not to cause harm to my body in the process and if you know anything about the standard recommendations for preparing to get your innards examined, it is horrifically jarring. Running to the toilet all night and blasting everything out of my rectum did not seem like a kind and loving thing to do to my healing body. So, I did what my intuitive gut led me to do after seeking guidance in prayer. Juice fasting, then water fasting, then two colon hydrotherapies to seal the gentle sodium water baths I gave my insides. Sure enough the doctor said I was super squeaky clean and did not even notice I did not follow his expert advice. God knew better and I walked it out for my betterment. Here’s the link to that blog–there’s great tips if you want to be more gentle to yourself pre-colonoscopy: https://joiedejane.wordpress.com/2018/08/16/gotta-go-with-my-gut/

Then came a tooth extraction. Perfectly good tooth some dentists thought, for a dead one, that is. A root-canal-saved-tooth. You may have some, too. I have two. Since my thyroid is so close my mouth and it seemed everything I intake orally passes right by my thyroid on the way down, I took the suggestion of many naturopathic and holistic oriented folks and sought a “green” dentist. With their’ extra examinations, they discovered my upper left molar was grossly infected from a root-canal gone sour and the infection had ruptured my sinus cavity. Gross! But Eureka!! This was on the same side as the area diagnosed with thyroid cancer. There was certainly some connection there (between the longstanding infection and cancer) that needed to be severed. Clearly the best thing to do was not to try to save the tooth, but to remove the infection negatively affecting my head area and possibly my entire body’s functioning. So, I was blessed to take another step forward to clean out my body while I was trusting my spirit to guide my soul as needed to continue this work of complete restoration.

Both of these unprovoked tests were valuable for my bodily’s well-being and discoveries of needed to-do’s, but more valuable for the practice of taking my health as my responsibility and trusting the innermost leading of my Maker than the voices around me. But it was in gathering information and knowledge from the intelligent voices of authorities around me that helped me take the wisest choice for me determined through dialoguing with the author of my life.

I could have made other choices and followed widely tried, and moderately true ways, but my bigger priority steered me differently. I desire to know myself more and hear the guidance from God more and more intimately and infinitely. I suppose it can been seen as a fine line between grace giving me the permission to do whatever I want and the opportunity to do what is most prudent and expedient in the estimation of the only one who knows my beginning to my end. Since G-D is the author of all creation, I honest to goodness feel most secure in seeking alignment with that power of an endless life. And still, I honest to goodness have to discern if I should pull the other root-canal tooth and proceed with or cease from various therapies… It is a walk of connection and continued conversation with my Maker. It’s a blessed growing process.

LOVE MY CACAO MOUSSE Vegan & Keto!

KETO CACAO MOUSSE with topping variations

Before I get into the low-carb version, here is my original share for everyday folks who want to sneak some health into unsuspecting standard American diet eaters… I love and miss this one! Pre-KETO version… yummy, but for when higher-glycemic whole fruits are back on my plate! https://joiedejane.wordpress.com/2015/04/23/raw-dark-chocolate-pudding-for-earth-day/

pre-Keto version with dates

Now, since I am Vegan-Keto for health recovery reasons and need the healthy fats to do their best to reset my brain and body, here comes a version with MCT powder and Lakanto (which has erythritol and extract of luo han guo fruit.)

pre-Keto Version closeup

INGREDIENTS:

=2 large ripe avocados

=1/3 cup coconut milk (or unsweetened nut mylk of choice/not rice. I love the combo of coconut cream and almond mylk)

=6 tablespoons unsweetened raw cacao powder (more if you’re need it dark, dark… or less if you like it bit less noir! Use carob powder if you cannot have chocolate.

=4-tablespoon of Lakanto sweetener and, if you need, add Lakanto monkfruit liquid drops to your taste as you blend

=1 Tablespoon vanilla extract… and teaspoon of vanilla beans, if you have it

=1 scant teaspoon of cinnamon

=2 heavy dashes Himalayan pink salt

=MCT oil few drops or one teaspoon or MCT powder

=optional 1 Tablespoon of cold brew coffee (I don’t usually have coffee, but enjoy if you do~)

Fresh out of the processor

WHAT TO DO: Just use a strong food processor or high-powdered blender and taste as you go… 🙂 It will be potent, but so good with a side of berries 🙂

It does give you a nice afternoon energy lift!