International Women’s Day causes me to think on all the ways I am WOMAN! (not necessarily roaring…but steadied, redemptive, and sure.) Even with all the struggles in the workplace, to gender/role expectations in relationships, to anatomical matters that come with the doubleX chromosome, I am truly glad to be fully female. Moments of wondering what it would be like to be otherwise flees away quickly when I think upon the wonders of womanhood.
I have loved beautiful dresses and gowns–always have thanks to my mom and dad to worked their immigrant bottoms off so that I would not be in want for the simple or extra things. Thanks to my parents, I remember what it felt like to feel like a princess, beloved and prayed for, yet be able to understand at a young age how weighty the responsibility is for a woman to keep a family together with our intuitive, giving nature and strength to humbly and ferociously protect and sacrifice. As a grown woman who still loves dresses, (but not dressing up as much!), a wife, as well as a mom to pups, I have most recently been extra grateful for what I do not know.
Through the rigors of innumerable conviction-testing unexpecteds in life, I am learning how valuable it is to have a grip on what is just beyond my reach...to cultivate the warrior woman with a war-ready stance balanced by the unshakable quiet confidence that comes from many, many hard-won skirmishes and battles. I face each steep wall, treacherous mountain, darkest depths, and bleak outlooks with a certain levity (on an increasing number days now!) Certainly this, whatever it may be, cannot fell me–have you seen the triumphs in my fresh-worn path?!
Mistake me not, I truly grieve and mourn and rage in our world’s plethora of wounds, hurts, injustices… and most profoundly in the space where the dearth of forgiveness for others and for myself hollows out humanity’s soul the most. In life, there are times one must stand very solo. But I can stay in a progressive process from faith, to hope, to a radically transformative love because of all I have come to know –more of who I AM in my maker Abba YHWH. Only my God in Christ knows me all the more richly than I can appreciate…able to call me up to the wonders I know not yet within me by His majestic design. Sweet mysteries…
With Him, I know I can walk ever forward, head high with eyes on horizons I trust will always be replete with unimaginable satisfactions and boundless joys.
Jesus loves me. This I know. And that is enough for me.
For those asking for how I overcame cancer and the injury that gave rise to it, find my wellness journeys (coming soon) at https://joiedejane.wordpress.com/ , and @janeparksmith on IG, twitter, and FB. I have realized there is artistry in natural healing, walking in faith, and how I get to choose life in each and every way, everyday. I AM WOMAN. BLESSED. BELOVED. FEROCIOUS. #artistslife indeed! Thank you!