6. GRITTY DAY-TO-DAY TO-DOs with JOY! Resurrection Every Day!~

Cycles of life, death, and resurrection are ever-present in me and in all life. And in this I celebrate by giving fully of all of me while surrendering totally to the process designed by the One who made me and all of what we see and don’t. I have unwittingly come to know fear quite well and what it takes to face it and choose to trust that my fallings are not failings. Furthermore, I have come to know and trust and choose faith–that in My Abba Father’s hands and plans, my lows are prophetic toward the highs coming based on perseverent pursuits of the promises of goodness and triumph secured by Christ’s completed mission He has given to me continue. And so I shall, empowered by a greater love and life than I could with within me alone. It’s not a simple pat of “do it afraid”… to me, it’s more a matter of being more certain of the why I must rise again and again and in the process fear will flee from me.


Jesus’ complete mission, you ask? It’s his Resurrection Power I get to make real — something I meditate to take in as my own daily. In reflecting upon the magnitude of the eternity-changing-reality. my knees buckle with joy. It’s true. In the secret places I get to hang out with El Elyon The most High G-D, I am not only stilled silent, but sometimes get a giddy feel-good grace that effervesces throughly (not thorougly, but throughly.) I have grown to recognize that my trials and crises have not molded and defined me. Rather, in laying wide open to God’s guidance through the wilderness, His ever-present being and implanted identity in me through the seed of Christ has made me like Jesus and more like him in time and by joint intentionality.

Many have asked me why I just didn’t get “rid of the “problem” and use radiation or surgery. It was often not worth answering because no one knows clearer than the One who made me what the most urgent, life-threatening, or worst problem was in my life that a cancer diagnosis may just by sounding alarms to bring attention to. Besides, G-D is the best surgeon and I believed that He could resolve and/or remove any “problem” and leave the adjoining, healthy life to thrive. Only He could best divide as finely as between soul and spirit as well as between bone and marrow (Hebrews 4:12) and it is in that fine of a wisdom and discernment I wanted to rest to be restored. All in His Time. And I’m blessed to believe and receive the intangible and then palpable Spirit-kissed Resurrection this day and every day. And now, a present-look at a part of my healing journey not too far past.

When many of us get a diagnosis of some unwanted kind, like cancer, most of us, me, included, wanted an action plan to tackle and take down the offender. While I share in this blog entry the entirety of my bullet points of what I did on a day to day basis and how it changed every few weeks or months, it is not a whole picture, so it one that can be informative or paralyzing. It really depends on where you are at in helping yourself or a loved one heal… The most important thing I learned is to get grounded within and quiet enough to really hear. For me, I needed to hear the quiet leading of my God through it all and sometimes I did and other times my humanness in its fallibility and desperation overruled that essential and often elusive place and position of being God’s beloved one held in Shalom. Sometimes that uphill climb to the mountaintop is a long, windy one, but one step at a time, right? I hope the document included in this post offers some help to your healing. Thank God for grace; I AM A WORK IN PROGRESS!

The goal in the first wave of self-administered therapies and radical changes was to make cancer cells commit suicide (apoptosis) and reset the landscape of my entire body to make it hospitable for proper life to be able to grow and flourish making it uninhabitable for confused and unhealthy versions of cells.

The attached .PDF document gives you just the bare bones of the all-out war against and for the two sides of life in my physical body. It is a lot to take in as it was a lot to do, but the deeper, necessary work did not come until I realized it would not be by my striving or force of will through which I would heal, but accepting the process by which I must journey to allow what is good and only good to remain. Much of the early steps outlined that I took were superficial in that light, but necessary to begin the growth and self-maturation process with gusto and drive. With great determination comes greater disappointments…and the deepest reckonings necessary to progress. This journey…particularly fraught by this reality in its beginnings.

So, back to some nuts and bolts. You know now that a water fast was my 1st drastic decision, then going totally vegan, gluten-free, and eating only whole foods I could recognize from the good soil of our Earth… and then came a RAW FOOD only month to detox and reset my body even more. That was challenging, delicious, hellish, isolating, yet empowering… but since much of this journey is deliberate and by fully conscious choosing, setting up a reward system is quite valuable. I got child-like about it and was good to myself … I gave myself a happy-face each night for a day of raw food only eating. It made me feel good to see all the smiles as I stood strong each day knowing I was doing my body good. I still love seeing this pasted on the interior of a kitchen cabinet door.

I caution you, though, not to just study this attached document and replicate parts of it in a vacuum. There is no formula and a healing process is so personal, it is as inextricable as the very breath of God given each of us. So, as you peruse the .PDF document, you will find some added journaling to mark the milestone moments along the way… MAKE SURE YOU NOTICE THAT CHANGES MADE EVERY FEW WEEKS AND MONTHS AS IT WAS DIRECTED BY WHAT I INTUITIVELY FELT I NEEDED OR SPECIFICALLY WAS TOLD MY BODY NEED PER MY BIOCHEMIST’S BODY SYSTEM READINGS. All the choices are to support life and naturally. Remember that our bodies are always changing and need to be addressed as a dynamic organism …and with great care!

After writing about a few more major big deal action items that I felt I needed to incorporate, I’ll begin to share why I went to a clinic in Mexico #HOPE4CANCERCANCUN to get holistic treatments and additional help… I committed to a larger facility for help even after some tests from a biochemist showed I no longer had malignancy readings on his tests. Lots of reasons for that.

Hope this nitty gritty daily list (of lists) of my round-the-clock healing regimens offers some direction and understanding that this approach of allowing one’s body to heal while disabled mechanisms that fuel chronic disease takes a willingness to change everything radically and never look back–no matter how long it takes.

Gotta GO! … with my Gut.

It’s often joke … or a topic we don’t care to get serious about, but when you need to get an endo and/or colonscopy, it’s honestly now or never! Enough of the unwanted SH**!

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Like most Western-worlders, I have been guilty of eating what I want, when I want, in all the quantities I want. Didn’t think much of it until an environmental, unexpected blow to my health sent me on a search to see just how my body is miraculously crafted to heal. Almost a decade since that blow, I went from a mainly carnivorous-carbivore to a mindful, sustainability advocating plant-based, nutrition-focused eater. Feeling enlightened and much lighter (lol) in this process, I have come to more deeply appreciate my God-made design and have been saddened at how neglectful and abusive I have been by ignorance and by choice (yes, I’m an emotional-eater at times.) It is truly amazing how much human bodies can withstand and maintain homeostatis, so when we are awakened with dis-ease (dash intended) or a disease diagnosis of any kind, (particularly of the wealthier Western world) the accountability often lies with me/us, if not also our direct predecessors. Sobering meals aren’t always very palatable.

Before I start divulging so much that I get off task, let me say that sometimes there is just too much crap in our life and I am in the process of cleansing on every level. While I won’t go in to the at-first unseen thoughts and feelings that take up residence in our bodies, I am writing this to share my colonoscopy experience.

I never gave it much thought… it was always –stuff my face and stuff comes out eventually…sometimes even rationalizing that it is okay since it’s vegan food! Gross and irresponsible, I know… especially now that I know how much of our thinking and mindful presence (or not) comes from our gut. And let me just say, I have not been very mindfully connected…more like on stressed survivor’s auto-pilot.

So, I needed to get an endo/colonoscopy and every one who has ever mentioned it speaks about the dreaded preparation and the “night before.” Once I got my instructions from my wonderful GI doctor, I understood. I would be expecting no less than 12 hours of uncontrollable bursts from my butt to purge my intestines to make sure it is clean enough for adequate study, evaluation, and possible biopsies. In the last 10 years, I have become aware enough to know there is always another way … and in my gut, this 12 hour traumatic experience didn’t sit well with me. So, I took an entirely different approach.

If you want an option that worked for me, here is what I did:

4 days prior–no nuts, seeds, seasonings etc… and I am already on a vegan, no dairy, no gluten regimen, so if you eat everything, definitely cut out meat, dairy, and gluten at 5-7 days prior

3 days prior- soups only, add fresh-pressed juices, and yummies like avocados are good, too! Do not eat fibrous foods like salads and dense breads. Enjoy fruit like melons that help move your bowels. Take natural, non-harsh laxative and/or teas that stimulate the colon.

2 days priortotal juice fast and lighter colored broth soups and make sure you strain everything. A juice of cucumber, celery, ginger, green apple, lemon, and lime would be nice.) Mid afternoon, make yourself a nice, intense, green tea, high-caffeine drink (no sugar or milk/mylk) because it can help get more of your insides going, And this is vital–Get a colon hydrotherapy in early evening for assistance with continue cleansing and purging. That night take a nice salt bath to further relax your body to release all kinds of things inside. I would also suggest doing two coffee enemas, morning and afternoon, to get the liver some help in this detoxing process as well as helping clear the colon.

(post-prep help–make or treat yourself to some prepared soups and pressed juices to have after your procedure… you’ll be glad you have on hand!! It’s important to ease your system back into processing solids again–being kind to yourself will do you good!)

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1 day prior-MUST MUST MUST Water fast! Add coconut water if you need some electrolytes. You cannot (probably) have too much water when you are doing a water fast, but feel free to enjoy clean organic green tea as well. Please plan to do two coffee enemas morning and afternoon before your colon hydrotherapy. Plus, drink water with this: start at 11am with 1 teaspoon of Magnesium Sulfate (Epsom Salt) in 8 ounces of water, repeat at 2, and 5. At 5pm, add 3 teaspoons of Magnesium Citrate (used the brand Natural Calm) to the water with Epsom Salts. Get another colon hydrotherapy in the early evening. It should be very clean with some random mucus matter and some other things, but overall, very clear. After that, alternate between both magnesiums every 3 hours until your non-poop-water runs as a clear yellow fluid with no particulates. If by 10 pm the night before your procedure you are not running a clear yellowish fluid, be sure to drink 16-32 ounces of water mixed with both magnesiums (2-3 teaspoons of each per 8oz of water.) Just a little bit of mucus-looking things are okay as your intestines will always be active and bile gets mixed in. End your day with a warm salt bath and large shot of Apple Cider Vinegar.

(More honesty:) I got super nervous I would have to take the Miralax and other stuff I was supposed to take conventionally, but after drinking tons more water and having a text-chat with my supportive brother, I decided to stay the course and go with my gut …and let my body enjoy the natural benefits of this way of test preparation. It was a helpful complementary process in facing deeper emotional and spiritual muck that needed dislodging and cleansing.

Morning of- nothing to drink by mouth—I was surprised how not thirsty I was… maybe because I was so water laden from the day before! Do one more non-coffee, warm water enema for good measure an hour before you leave your home. And go get your test knowing you’ve done yourself a good thing!

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TEST and POST-I was put under and knocked out completely… and had to sleep it off for the rest of the day… but I was super thankful that taking the gentler, more healing approach to cleansing for these invasive Gastro-Intestinal tests worked. More than 25% of folks going in for a colonoscopy are not ready for it and it often has to be cancelled… Not me! Hooray… so, please do consider choosing a more natural way. It works…really…and I feel all the more healthy, aware, and in tune with my gut. And somehow, with all the stressors this could have added to my life, it was instead a very beautiful relief and release.

(And now you can have the juices and soups you prepared beforehand to enjoy!*) 

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*you will see how long your body takes to go from mouth to backend…30 hours,  not 3 days is ideal.  The longer your waste stays in your gut, the more you are self-toxicating with your own crap.  So, use this as a way to reset your body and eat more whole foods and less processed pseudo-foods.

(most photos are from generic search on the web.)

(also.. I did an open system colon hydrotherapy at Healing Waters in Studio City.)